This piece de resistance comes to us from Brian Bender, a man who was instrumental in forming the world's first CorpBall league. Schizz Park is a gang of friends connected by and through their alma mater and which shares an unnerving penchant for off-color jokes.
The Schizz
SCHIZZ FANTASY FOOTBALL 2005
Coming this fall
--can my Fairweather Johnsons win their third title in five years?
--who will win Lord Soares' Cup this year?
--will anyone care?
--will we care that no one else cares?
SCHIZZ FANTASY BASEBALL 2002
The Schizz enjoyed just one season of fantasy baseball (chronicled so brilliantly by David Halberstam in his book Summer of '02). The league was christened "Farndog He Said No" (I didn't choose it), and eventually died because we all realized that 1) fantasy baseball is too much work; and 2) even we have lives from time to time.
Still, I preserve the regular-season standings here for posterity, largely because I finished in first place (bitch). I lost in the playoffs to Matt Robinson, who went on to capture the first and only Schizz World Series.
W L T Pct. GB Owner
Small-Market Blues 126 80 14 .605 -- Farney
Schizz Softball Team 123 83 14 .591 3 Robinson
Wiggley Wave 112 91 17 .548 12.5 McKone
Townless NoNames 109 95 16 .532 16 Berkowitz
Crash Davis 101 104 15 .493 24.5 Iyer
Bleacher Bums 100 110 10 .477 28 Cruz
South Siders 84 124 12 .409 43 Springer
Buena Bulldogs 68 136 16 .345 57 Lancaster
